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  Bland Motown music and whos the fat guy buzz of hundreds picture of fat guy conversations came drifting out the door as Shane said, “Jesus, I’m sorry, man. I honestly didn’t think it was absolutely required…” “Oh, crap. What’s wrong?” I pushed between them and looked inside. Five hundred people filled the ballroom. Every woman was dressed fat guy in thong either a fat black guy or a fat white guy evening gown, and every man was dressed fat guy in speedo a tuxedo. Kathleen hugged my arm to her breast. “It’ll be fine. You’re still more handsome than ninety-nine percent picture of a fat guy spank the fat guy men fat guy in a little coat there.” “And I’m sure that’s what everyone will say: ‘Did you see that handsome man?’ ‘Which one?’ ‘The one who showed up at the fat guy Black-and-White Ball wearing blue jeans and a navy sports jacket.’ ‘Oh, you mean the handsome asshole! Yes, everybody saw him. He’s the talk of the ball.’ ‘How did he get in dressed like that?’ ‘Shane and Kathleen brought him.’ I promise both of you,” I said, “I’m not going through this embarrassment alone. Before I leave here tonight, everyone will know that I came with you.”  




  The three of us stepped inside the fat guy crowded ballroom and looked around. Everybody sitting at the tables was wearing either black or white; everybody milling around the room was wearing either black or white; everybody standing at the bar was wearing either fat black guy or white. I took a step backwards, but Kathleen tightened her grip on my arm. “Don’t go. Please don’t go. You spend too many nights at home alone as it is.” “Look around, Kathleen. I’m as out of place here as the Cubs at the World Series.” Shane poked me in the ribs with a sharp elbow. “Look! You’re not the only one,” he said pointing to the dance floor. At first all I saw were dancers dressed in black and white (and only a quarter picture of fat guy them actually moving fat guy in a little coat time with the music). But then one couple drifted to the right. A woman wearing a bright red gown that sparkled with every move she made danced as if she didn’t have a care in whos the fat guy world.  

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